What a day this Valentine thing..

This was just a weird day for me. It really had nothing to do with Valentine but I spent a lot of time to myself and it was really revealing. People are INSANE!!! So many emotions for a lot of people including myself. Too much to write right now but maybe when I wake up I will feel better and maybe think a lot clearer.

Progress and time to man up...

It has been about three months since I last posted on here and that's a no no.

Well with that out of the way, a lot has happen since my last post. I have lost about 20 pounds and I see significant progress towards my goal. I don't know if I will be where I want to be by June but we will have to see.

I am also officially single and I think it is the right decision for me at the moment. I know that I am not mature enough to handle a long distance relationship at this time and maybe not ever. Some people can put up with it but I don't think I can, it just was not any fun. Life is not all about fun but at this point in time I don't want to deal with all the stress.

Ahhh... last but not least point...

I am still looking at other girls to talk to and honestly my biggest issue is my confidence and my fear of rejection and it has been this way for a while. I thought that with the computer age, it might be a little easier using Myspace, facebook, whatever but honestly (at least for me) its trash. I need to man up and do it the old fashion and just go talk to them, cause my pictures IMO don't do me justice, Myspace also has gassed up a lot of women to the point where they swear their shit smells like flowers. I honestly don't blame them because I was part of the cause. For every message, comment and picture comment I left (these only apply to people I haven't met in real life) I only helpped fill the gas tank in their heads. I can only imagine how many messages and comments these girls get, and honestly most guys are after the tail and the girls who get the most air show the most skin.. I won't lie I like to look but, its time to go the ol' fashion route. NOW NOW I am not saying that online dating and what not can't work because it does and it has, but I don't think its the way for me.....

Now to work on myself and my confidence...

HOLLLA AT THE KID

New Years Resolutions

Its the new year and resolutions are coming. I had a real great 2008 and it's going to be hard to top it in 2009. I got some good advice on how to achieve some "new" goals in 2009 and hopefully I will them done.

1. Become more organized. Basically to give this a more definite meaning - Keep my room clean, keep my computer files organized (email, papers, etc...), put back anything I have used around the house.

2. Lose 25 - 35 lbs. within the next 4 - 6 months. I don't know how long it will take or if it will get my body into the way I want it to look but its a definite goal. If I need to lose additional weight, I can do it after I lose my goal weight.

3. Communicate better with everyone around me - I learned a lot from my brother and that I need to better communicate with him and all around me. Even if its through email, phone calls or talking I need to communicate.

4. Become more independent - I should be able to enjoy something on my own without trying to convince someone else why I find it entertaining. If there is something I don't want to do then I should not let peer pressure change my mind. Though this resolution is a little vague, I think it will come into its own.

5. Tech savvy - Learn to optimize my computer usage, type faster, and learn the ins and outs better.

Lets get it started..

Not to make this post too long, as I am just testing the waters just a bit. I already had did extensive blogging on MYSPACE about three years ago and a lot has changed since then. I used to use blogs to get attention (as do most people do now a days)but now I think I am just going to use them to get my thoughts out of my head. Just to get back into the flow of writing freely which I enjoy. Not worrying too much about grammar (although spelling counts to me). So whoever is reading, just go along for the ride.